Football Jokes

Featured Football Joke

Short Football Jokes
Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: Why is the Oakland football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do Billy Graham and the Buffalo football team have in common?
A: They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Oh, Jesus."

A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating his new recruits. "Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that run round the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run straight into the trees, I turn into linemen."

Q: What's the difference between the Green bay Packers and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belongs in a bowl.

Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
A: Four blokes watching a football game.

The Definition of an optimist: A Buffalo Bills fan waiting at Buffalo Niagara International Airport for the Bills to return from winning the Super Bowl.

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. -- George Will.

The L.A. Rams have a new line of cologne. It's a little different though; you wear it and the other guy scores.

Q: Why does John Elway eat his cereal from a plate?
A: Because he's lost all three of his bowls.

After spending all day watching football, Jimmy fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. "Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to 7" He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"

Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night
A: Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

What do you get when you cross a defensive lineman with a prostitute?
A quarter-ton pickup.

Why can't John Elway use the phone anymore?
Because he can't find the receiver.